I go through my normal routine, bouncing, singing, humming, bouncing, and more bouncing. Some may know that I use my child as an excuse to get my "ski legs" back. This is done by the counting of 1000 bounces. It usually takes about 40 minutes. 40 minutes in, and I still have a possessed child.
Time to get out the big guns, plus I really need to sit down.
To the rocking chair we go. I like to accompany the rocking chair with a nice song that has been stuck in my head all day. Today's choice, "Set Fire to the Rain" from Adele. Vera generally likes my singing, not today. So now I hum, the same song because I am just not that clever.
Our rocking chair has a squeak when you reach a certain velocity of rocking. Usually I try to avoid this, tonight is not usual. Strangely enough it is working. She is not sleeping, just not screaming. I will chalk this in the success column.
Another thing to remember when putting Vera to sleep, do not make eye contact. This will set you back to the stone age. So at this point I am treating Vera like I do Wal-Mart shoppers, and it's working. Now I have to just wait it out, rocking and humming.
About 20 minutes later I have her where I want her, time to achieve the goal. I am at the finish line, just need to get her into her crib without any jostling. It is like the .2 miles of a marathon, the hardest.
This is when I find my true Zen capacity.
My first step toward the crib was great, so I guess it's the second step that's the doozy. My second step across a pitch black room introduce my pinky toe to the metal bed frame. Agony!!!! In my mind I was screaming curse words like only Grandpa Willy could. I could feel the pain moving to every inch of my body.
I am Shannon's excruciating pain.
That's when the true Zen came, not one peep, not even heavy breathing. Just total Zen, it was beautiful. Maybe I had a bit of wiggle room to express my pain, but I was not about to take that chance. Remember, we were about 4 hours into this project. I know any spook would have landed us back to that horrible place. I took a second to gather my composure, and finished the last leg.
We know Vera is out for the count when you put her in the crib and she rolls to her side immediately. This is exactly what she did.
My success is rewarded with finishing the movie, which we both promptly fell asleep to. I bet it was great.
Well Vera, I am sure this is not the only lesson that you will teach Papa, but it will certainly rank up there.